There are very few people on top of life, and the rest of us don’t like them very much.

If you are flattering a woman, it pays to be a little more subtle. You don’t have to bother with men, they believe any compliment automatically.

Salad, I can’t bear salad. It grows while you’re eating it, you know.

You might as well have put her on a stage eating a plate of spaghetti and put a rope round her chair instead of putting her in a theatre where she wasn't at home and was struggling.

We don't discuss anything anyway. Unless it appears on Patrick's official breakfast-time agenda. And that consists mainly of food. Minutes of the last meal and proposals for the next.

it couldn't have happened to a nicer person and it's a most fitting award.

Few women care to be laughed at and men not at all, except for large sums of money.

I think of a plot, I think of an idea, and then I wonder, How can I get that onto the stage? . . . Whatever devices you use should always be there to serve the theme. If the theme has been overtaken by the device, then something's wrong.

If you are flattering a woman, it pays to be a little more subtle. You don't have to bother with men, they believe any compliment automatically.

A gentleman ... sleeps at his work. That's what work's for. Why do you think they have the SILENCE notices in the library? So as not to disturb me in my little nook behind the biography shelves.