Am certainly attentive to her but cautiously, without any impropriety that could be laid hold of. Yet my manners are certainly peculiar, not all masculine but rather softly gentleman-like. I know how to please girls.

Were I fit for another world, how gladly would I go there.

O books! books! I owe you much. Ye are my spirit’s oil without which, its own friction against itself would wear it out.

Monday 29 January 1821 [Halifax]I love and only love the fairer sex and thus beloved by them in turn, my heart revolts from any love but theirs.

There is one thing that I wish for. There is one thing without which my happiness in this world seems impossible. I was not born to live alone. I must have the object with me & in loving & being loved, I could be happy.

Saturday 12 July 1823 [Halifax]Could not sleep last night. Dozing, hot & disturbed ... a violent longing for a female companion came over me. Never remember feeling it so painfully before ... It was absolute pain to me.

What a comfort is this journal. I tell myself to myself and throw the burden on my book and feel relieved.