People will frighten you about a graduation. They use words you don't hear often: "And we wish you Godspeed." It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices.

The serve was invented so the net could play.

Young ladies and gentlemen, this is not your world yet. You have to make it.

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

Decide that you want it more than you're afraid of it.

The truth is that parents aren't really interested in justice. They just want quiet.

Parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap on a rope.

I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. 'Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga...what is your name, boy? And don't lie to me, because you live here, and I'll find out who you are.'

The past is a ghost, the future has a dream, and all we ever have is now.