I'm not a vegetarian, I'm a dessertarian.

Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone.

God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die.

I think we dream so we don't have to be a part so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.

Girls are like slugs they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.

A box of new crayons! Now they're all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they'll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.

CALVIN: When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I’ll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment.

What’s the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see ’em?

But for my own example, I’d never believe one little kid could have so much brains!