If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. They're very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.

When something's good, I'm not an over-celebrator.

I was not a silly kid or outgoing. In fact, I suffered from quite a bit of anxiety. I used to have panic attacks when I was a teenager, really incapacitating moments, because I had some phobias.

I don’t laugh out loud at comics a lot.

I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people – how they act and such.

I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I’d get into psychology.

If you’re drunk please don’t drive. If you’re on shrooms please don’t think Walmart’s a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.

Here’s how you know that you’re really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

It’s not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.

It’s the worst feeling when you come home alone late at night and think the stranger sitting on your couch is a pile of clothes.