DH
Daniel Handler
821quotes
Quotes by Daniel Handler
Daniel Handler's insights on:

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School spirit' is a curious term. The phrase might sound as if it refers to a ghost or other undead phantasm haunting an educational establishment like very old gum clinging to a trophy case. What 'school spirit' actually refers to is the belief one particular school is better than another.

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Being afraid of hurricanes is perfectly rational because they can be quite sinister and destructive. But a fear of real estate agents, a term which here means 'people who assist in the buying and selling of houses,' would be an irrational fear.

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Sometimes even in most unfortunate of lives there will occur a moment or two of good.

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If you go too fast you might not notice everything. On the other hand, you don't want to be late.

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Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make, bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake, if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble.

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I guess it’s funny how life turns out?” she tried. “Not last I checked,” Errol said with a snort.

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Phillip Murray and Wanda Saxton meet in the last scene under the rainy awning, their wrong wife and fiance finally story-lined away, and walk out together into the downpour – we know from the first scene, Christmas eve, that both of them like walking in the rain but don’t have anybody who will do it with them – and it’s the miracle of the ending.

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Phil Needle supposed what he meant was that he wanted to be God, just long enough to find his daughter. It was not a prayer but a promotion. This was why nobody liked God: they wanted his job.
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