I was someone who lived in anxiety. I felt anxiety was part of being conscious in the world; it was a prerequisite of a moral and ethical life. I don’t mean the anxieties of Capital, I mean the anxieties of an unfinished world, the unfinished projects of the imagination, as Wilson Harris would put it.

It is not the job of writers to life our spirits. Books simply do what they do. They sometimes confirm the capricious drama of a childhood living room. When you think that you are in the grace of a dance you come upon something hard.

We’d appraise each other, in the provisional way that lovers do, by attaching great depth and significance to the provisional. How, after all, do you “know” anyone? You take in certain physical and emotional characteristics that you’ve aestheticized, ignoring the facts. You listen to what a lover has to say, taking in the erotic music of their sound, their timbre, while dismissing the lyrics.

Dali’s Reclining Woman Wearing a Chemise looks like a dead slaughtered doll, and I can see preying eagles, broken arrows, and jazz musicians in Jackson Pollock, and because I believe that Man Ray and Duchamp were lovers.

People here believe in uncontrollable passion, in mad rages, and in the brusque inevitability of death.

I am not nostalgic. Belonging does not interest me. I had once thought that it did. Until I examined the underpinnings. One is mislead when one looks at the sails and majesty of tall ships instead of their cargo.

Fashions are not fashions at all but refashioning; language is not communication but reinvention. They are never in place but on display.

Cities collect people, stray and lost and deliberate arrivants.

If I see someone I see the ghost of them, the air around them, and where they’ve been. If I see a city I see it’s living ghostliness – the stray looks, the dying hands. I see it’s needs and its discomforts locked in apartments.

Books leave gestures in the body; a certain way of moving, of turning, a certain closing of the eyes, a way of leaving, hesitations. Books leave certain sounds, a certain pacing; mostly they leave the elusive, which is all the story. They leave much more than the words.