Like diabetes, she referred to it. Diabetics take insulin. In the same way, people with bipolar disorders took lithium, and alcoholics went to AA. Diabetes is the all-purpose analogy in my culture. Everybody has some form of it that needs to be tended on a maintenance basis. No one is ever cured, no one gets all the way well.

If there’s one quality I hate in a woman, it’s modesty. Besides making me, with my trombone mouth, feel vaguely uncouth, I think it’s a chickenshit response to the demands of the marketplace, or the universe, not that I can tell them apart.

Like so many other kids gone wrong from my time, place, and class, I thought it glamorous to be self-destructive. Unfortunately, I had also always known that this was a stupid and callow way to think.