Being deaf and partially blind means I don’t really watch TV. I wouldn’t know what to do with a remote control.

I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a chess champion because it took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.

I asked my publisher what would happen if he sold all the copies of my book he'd printed. He said 'I'll just print another ten'.

I'm proud of being a vaudevillian, the last of my line. A lot of people think my entertainment is candy-floss. Well, entertainment is too aggressive these days, all 'in your face'.

Being deaf and partially blind means I don't really watch TV. I wouldn't know what to do with a remote control.

All these old guys, they were exactly the same on stage as off, and they couldn't help being comedians.

It's a very sad day. I've always admired him. Everything he did had a very evocative ring, of something great.

There's no family allowance on the first child, you know.

I asked my publisher what would happen if he sold all the copies of my book he'd printed. He said "I'll just print another ten.