I often utilise a method that ensures this state of affairs remains, as it should be, with me blameless. I achieve this by accusing you of precisely what I have been doing.

You cannot help but over analyse this situation. That is part of your DNA and why I chose you. I keep you spinning round and round. This entertains me and also softens you up for when I do decide to make the grand entrance. Whichever way I decide to return, return I will and I shall do so in triumph as I capture you once more.

I have to cut people down. From my extensive discussions with Dr O I have come to realise that this is wrong but I cannot help myself. The urge to destroy, denigrate, criticise and belittle is overwhelming. I have to spoil. There is no hope for an alternative.

I am completely incapable of accepting I have done anything wrong because as I have explained, I am not subject to the usual rules and conventions that bind people like you.

It also means that I can manage your expectations. I get away with more and you expect far less. Again, it is all designed to enable me to do what I want.

Selfie, selfie, selfie. What was wrong with taking a photo of the sunset without you in it?

I was polite and well behaved because that was what was required to advance.

You always need to reflect on how often do I actually do something as opposed to say something.

You may realise that nothing is ever my fault. It is evident why that is. I am special and above the regular humdrum vagaries of life that affect the little people. Accordingly, since I cannot be held to account, by reason of my elevated status in the world, it follows that nothing is my fault.

I know full well what I am. I have known it for a long time and I am proud of what I am. There are those that suggest that my kind is oblivious to our identity. That is excuse making from namby pamby do-gooders. I know what I am. I am everywhere and I am everything and I am only increasing in prevalence and numbers. That’s why you need to read on.