It's amazing how people will treat you better when you're 'somebody.' The minute clerks in a store recognize me, they suddenly rush to take care of me. That irritates me.

I would like to do a nice comedy/drama feature with a good part, but nobody's asked me to do a film. Maybe it's because they don't know what to do with a guy in a dress.

Before 'M*A*SH*,' people in the industry didn't know what to do with this guy with the big nose.

I'm after the bucks because bucks give you the power, power gives you the freedom, and freedom lets you send money home to your mother.

All the plays I do are comedies. I love listening to people laugh. I couldn't do the dramas like 'All My Sons.'

I was the first man to put on a dress and play it straight. That was something very fresh. Still is.

The dresses I wore are in the Smithsonian now.

I enjoy 'Murphy Brown,' but I am shocked that people really like 'Married... With Children.' These shows are toilet humor, and none of them have good characters.

You can't explain why people are friends and why those friendships last, but there certainly is magic in it. It's just something that you treasure.

I can't imagine that I will ever be on anything like 'M*A*S*H' again.