My sweetheart is a garroter, my sweetheart loves to strangle. Her hands are wrapped around my throat, but my heart is in a tangle…

Death is boring. Life is much more fun. Things happen in life all the time. Unexpected things. Things you couldn’t possibly expect because they’re so very… unexpected.

Who cares what some numpty thinks?The thing about numpties, Mog, is that they can always find plenty of other numpties to believe their numpty nonsense. You know what they say: you're never more than six feet away from a numpty.

We don’t ignore bigotry, Jack," said Fenestra. "That’s how cowardly bigots turn into brave bigots.

We don't ignore bigotry, Jack. That's how cowardly bigots turn into brave bigots.

The kitchen car was dead, and Morrigan was to blame.She didn't know how it had happened, or when. She thought perhaps he'd eaten something poisonous overnight. There were no injuries to suggest a fox or dog attack. Apart from a bit of dried blood at the corner of his mouth, he looked like he was sleeping, but he was cold and stiff.

Morrigan frowned. She sometimes felt that her true knack had nothing to do with being a Wundersmith. That it was, in fact, her remarkable ability to assume the worst. It came, of course, from a lifetime of believing she was cursed, and it seemed to be stitched into the very fabric of her being, even now. Telling her not to worry about bad things happening around her was like telling Hawthorne not to get excited about dragons, or Jupiter not to be ginger.

Dancing on the deck of a boat with a beautiful woman and, for some reason, a meerkat.

Morrigan smiled and took a deep breath.Last day of the autumn term.She’d made it.

Why is everyone looking at us?’ ‘They’re looking at you because you’re with me.’ He waved merrily at a pair of women who were staring. ‘And they’re looking at me because I’m very handsome.