Bridget Jones can kiss my spotty arse.

My body is not a temple. It’s a skip,

She hated hairy bum holes. She couldn’t stand the thought of someone doing her from behind and being distracted by what looked like a spider trying to escape from her arsehole.

Enjoy the adventure, because that’s what it’s all about - the process, not the result. The ultimate result is death. The ultimate process is life. Fact.

She woke up thin. She loved it when that happened.