LB

Lewis Black

370quotes

Quotes by Lewis Black

Lewis Black's insights on:

I've got stress like anybody else, and it builds up during the day. Like, I'll be trying to do something on the computer, and I'll get stuck, so I go to the help section. And it just enrages me, because why even call it a help section at all? There's nothing in any way 'helpful' about it.
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I've got stress like anybody else, and it builds up during the day. Like, I'll be trying to do something on the computer, and I'll get stuck, so I go to the help section. And it just enrages me, because why even call it a help section at all? There's nothing in any way 'helpful' about it.
I'm a Jew.
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I'm a Jew.
All food is comfort food. Maybe I just like to chew.
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All food is comfort food. Maybe I just like to chew.
You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I’m concerned.
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You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I’m concerned.
Nobody in college races home and says, ‘I can’t wait to see the news! I can’t wait to see who CBS is going to hire!’
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Nobody in college races home and says, ‘I can’t wait to see the news! I can’t wait to see who CBS is going to hire!’
Wow, you survived a blackout. You’re made of stronger stuff than ice cream.
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Wow, you survived a blackout. You’re made of stronger stuff than ice cream.
Well first of all, I’d just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap.
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Well first of all, I’d just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap.
A lot of the times I’m looking at something that I discover is part of a larger framework and not just a couple jokes. I see that it’s a set, a story that I’ll be telling. Sometimes I get lost in that.
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A lot of the times I’m looking at something that I discover is part of a larger framework and not just a couple jokes. I see that it’s a set, a story that I’ll be telling. Sometimes I get lost in that.
In four days, I experienced five seasons. It was thirty, it was sixty, it was ninety, then it was twelve! And on the last day, there was thunder, lightning, and snow – together! And I hadn’t done drugs.
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In four days, I experienced five seasons. It was thirty, it was sixty, it was ninety, then it was twelve! And on the last day, there was thunder, lightning, and snow – together! And I hadn’t done drugs.
He smiles so much, I don’t think he has a central nervous system.
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He smiles so much, I don’t think he has a central nervous system.
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