A long time ago, Lily had owned a Ken Doll. She’d once discovered that putting her thumbs on his neck and applying the exact right amount of pressure beneath his plastic ears caused his head to pop off. It probably wouldn’t work with Savage.

Are you firing him?” Her voice squeaked as if she had uttered the most outrageous profanity. Voiced the great unspoken. The mere suggestion of firing Richard Troy was the theatrical equivalent of hollering “Voldemort!” in the halls of Hogwarts.

You aren’t born half a person, doomed to drift through life unfulfilled until you find someone who can validate you.

My dad says that if you love people and they love you back, and you’re happy for each other when things are good and help each other when things are bad, and you don’t even mind too much when people in-ev-it-a-bly – ” she sounded out the word “ – try to grind your gears, then it’s family. He says if you’re related to someone and they don’t treat you well, they don’t deserve to be called family, and you can meet someone as a total stranger and they can become the best family.

Beards had magical transformative powers, especially for gentlemen of kind heart but minimal chin.

As casual lunches went, this one felt more like the subtle tension and underlying subtext of a Hitchcock film.

Nothing like working with friends. Everyone appreciated a hint that the Grim Reaper was breathing down their neck the moment they turned forty.

But life wasn’t a film. Problems didn’t disappear and “The End” wasn’t emblazoned across a lingering embrace the moment people succumbed to the inevitable and found the right moment to verbalise it. He.

In fiction, falling in love seemed to happen in soft focus, all cheerful montages of pop music and soulful glances. In reality, it was raw and confronting, powerful and passionate, shifting every goalpost.

As he marched her to the second level, he heard muttering behind him. She really was going to have to work on her vocal range. If she wanted to make an impact when she called someone a “bossy prat,” she needed to project.