Every winter it snows and rains as it always has, but every time it does, people forget how to drive, despite having lived there all their lives.

Good job, Robin,” she quipped. I glared. There is no reality, no train of thought, no plane of existence where I am not the goddamned Batman. I kept this to myself, of course. Batman doesn’t tell others he’s Batman. Everyone just knows it. And they should. I.

One hundred years of age doesn’t mean you have to bury your inner child. You age better if you hold onto a little petulance and let it out now and again.

My bosses would be beyond pissed if tomorrow's New York Times read: "Solid gold tiger eats stupid couple who were taking photos of it with their camera phone.

Church's boss was a dick too--justice!

There was a part of my brain that wanted to ask if his wife had a beard, verify my theory. I told that part of my brain to shut up.

How are you feeling?""Like I fell out a burning building onto pavement, you?" I grumbled."Like I was pushed out of a burning building by a maniac," she retorted, a small smile playing across her face.

You belong in an insane asylum, you know that?""Maybe my next case...