Thankfully I had not heard anything that I could attribute to being aimed at the strange man looking through the window. I guess I was nothing to them, and they were only something to me in my insecurity that asked if I was, actually, important.

You can try to tell me it's simply a matter of thinking more positively. But real thinking highlights both sides of an argument.

Anyway; how could I possibly trust or befriend anyone who wanted to associate with the likes of me?

My thoughts are not simply 'messed up' and waiting to be straightened out by learned doctors; they've already been analysed, every step of the way. I live with an internal philosophy lecturer allowing me to take nothing at face value, forcing me to question everything, casting doubt on all aspects of my human condition.

I guess if you want a quick diagnosis then perhaps it's post traumatic stress disorder from having to be born here in the first place.