To give up power to change for the better is inherently distasteful to everyone, and to force people to affirm that they are addicts or alcoholics so they can speak in a meeting is shameful and demoralizing.

...there is a saying used in twelve-step programs and in most treatment centers that "Relapse is part of recovery." It's another dangerous slogan that is based on a myth, and it only gives people permission to relapse because that think that when they do, they are on the road to recovery.

Treatment for dependency at substance abuse treatment centers must change if alcoholism and addiction are to be overcome in our society.

What I want to say here is that there is a place beyond control and beyond concern that people can go, where the values and the needs of everyday life change completely. Where what matters is moment-to-moment survival to avoid mind pain.

My alcoholism is in no way any sort of excuse for any of my past behaviors. Just because I quit drinking, my life was not suddenly transformed into a tabula rasa-if I have wronged someone, drunk or not, then the responsibility for this lies squarely with me. And I must do my best to set things square with that person. .......And just because I am sober now does not mean anyone else should care. I do not deserve a cookie for finally trying to act like a decent human being.

Following dinner, we tidied up and Mom and Dad went straight to bed at about eight o’clock. The house was dark and spooky on Sunday nights. Dad said he had to go to bed early on Sundays because he had “the yips.” Eventually I took that to mean he was hungover and had to get his sleep to be ready for another week of work.

Well, you were a difficult child - that’s all there is to it,” Mom said.I remembered all the times my mother ignored me when I needed to talk. “And you were a difficult mother.” With that, I hung up the phone. Again, it was weeks before we spoke.

In 1935, when there were no other programs, the founders of AA, Bill Wilson and Dr. Robert Smith, stepped up to the plate and took action to help a crippled population. All credit for the establishment of their wonderful, life-saving group goes to them and to those who came after them who have continued the tradition. However, there are not among the estimated two or three million who attend twelve-step meetings.

I was a degenerate, with an insatiable capacity for perversion. Incapable of change. I could do anything except not drink.

The drinking, the skipping school – all of it – was about regaining some sort of control. That night I felt there just might be enough magic in the world to help me through constant upheaval and loss. What I didn’t realize was that the more I drank, the less in control I was.