In our culture today – there is a rampant “victim mentality” – and while we don’t want to take away the legitimate issues that a real victim of a crime or abuse faces – we think somehow people have used their status as victim as a cop out, or invented reasons to identify as a victim.

If life is a battlefield, many of us would be rejected as 4F, given a card, and sent home. What can we do to be ready for the battle of manhood? What can we do to reset ourselves, and get our lives healthy enough to thrive?

I know that women want to be treated equally - and they should be treated equally - but the truth is - no man should ever strike a woman unless he needs to protect his life or the life of another - and even then - fleeing the situation is a better option whenever possible. If you find yourself at a place where you are so angry that you want to strike a woman - then you need to get some help.

No one owes you anything. If we live our lives expecting people to hand us anything, we’ll not only alienate all of our friends, but we’ll create a situation where our value is puffed up and manufactured, and not based on our actual value. When something goes wrong, when crisis comes, we are left feeling bankrupt.

Often, when a man encounters a moment of extreme trial, his inner fears come out in the form of a specific kind of excuse. I hate to dismiss those excuses as only that, because they also often reveal a deep truth about that man, and what he believes about himself.I am not strong enough.I am not smart enough.I am not rich enough.I am not young enough.I am not old enough.I am not MAN enough.Men. These are lies. These are weapons fashioned to bring you down.

I don’t want to imply that all we need to do is pull ourselves up by our bootstraps.Some of us may be able to do that.Some of us may need some professional help.But all of us will benefit from a long hard evaluating look at our life, and from working to realign our thinking with a sense of purpose. Even those that need professional help, we’re going to need to realign our thoughts, and to take practical steps to reignite the fire in us.

Eso también me ha enseñado a no avergonzarme de mis emociones; a admitir que sentir miedo, dolor o anhelo por dar y recibir afecto no me vuelve más débil y que no necesito encajar en ningún modelo de hombre para ser, precisamente, un hombre.

Women are awesome! I may not agree with the politics behind a lot of contemporary feminism, I like to think that feminism at it’s core is a good thing. Women are not our underlings, they are not subservient, they are not objects created for our pleasure. They are our equals, and should be treated with the same respect and dignity that we expect for ourselves.

Mentorship happens organically, and you can’t just force it. Many men don’t even know HOW to mentor, and often mentor others by accident. It’s not a mentor’s responsibility to mentor, it’s the responsibility of the mentee to seek mentorship and appropriate it.

You didn’t get here by accident. The condition of your life, for better or for worse is here because of a very reason. Learning this lesson was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done.