I’ve done made a deal with the devil. He said he’s going to give me an air-conditioned place when I go down there, if I go there, so I won’t put all the fires out.

If you think that hiring professionals is expensive, try hiring amateurs.

I’ve traveled all over the world, but I don’t think there is any place better than Texas,

If you think that hiring professionals is expensive, try hiring amateurs

The only thing more expensive than hiring a professional, is hiring an amateur.

I’ve done made a deal with the devil,

It scares you: all the noise, the rattling, the shaking. But the look on everybody's face when you're finished and packing, it's the best smile in the world; and there's nobody hurt, and the well's under control.

I've got cut half in two, once, and blowed up a time or two, but nothing permanent.

With bombs and fires, you get only one mistake.

I've got too many of my friends that retired and went home and got on a rocking chair, and about a year and a half later, I'm always going to the cemetery.