It’s my Prom King, Brett. He’s tapping at the window, wanting me to roll it down or to get out of the car — what an image that would be. How will I ever live that down? I can’t even see myself laughing about it twenty years from now. If the neighbors walk past they’ll probably report me to social services, I can hear them on the phone now, “She’s too lazy to even go to the bathroom, she just shits in her car.

This, however, is OKCupid, the vast, weird pink-and-blue toned jungle of the id masquerading as a dating site, where rare birds of modern romance flutter amongst the night-terrors of human loneliness and despair and the suspicious skin irritants of late-night hook-uppery.

While there is always someone more attractive, your goal should be to present yourself as the most intriguing.

Effective communication is effective communication, regardless of the setting.

You aren’t looking for a pen pal, and if need be, say that.

Reassurance is a good way to reinforce

If you bring something up, it’s imperative to explain your thought.

Always try to avoid being limited by means of communication.

Rejection is inevitable. The goal is to minimize it.

OkCupid has a lot of creeps.